Before you enjoy our real life story for this week, kindly take note that all names in this piece were changed to protect the image of our client.

If life has taught me anything at all, it would be not to love wholeheartedly without reason.

I was a happy simple and intelligent virgin at the age of 24. Born into a wealthy home, my parents made sure I lacked absolutely nothing. I enrolled into the best schools, had the finest of things and had my own personal maids who attended to me day and night; what more could I have asked for? God in His awesomeness blessed me with the best family on earth; in spite of all the luxury, I still had an intense passion to build my own legacy and not to rely entirely on my family’s riches.  After a year of serving my nation with one of the reputable banking firms in Ghana, I was made a permanent staffer and this to me was the greatest achievement ever.

In that same year, I met Douglas Oteng; a twenty-eight (28) year old gentleman who worked as an accountant with a micro savings and loans company. We became friends instantly after he approached and persuaded me to open an account with them. I was taken aback by his rare politeness and exceptional manner of approach; before I realized, we had exchanged contacts and in about two months I agreed to be his girlfriend. He was the perfect gentleman for me but for some reasons unknown to me, my older sister didn’t quite see him as a catch and often said he was too good to be true.

Douglas made it clear to me that he was an orphan and all his life, he’s had to struggle for himself and his younger siblings. I have never experienced poverty neither have I gone a day without have all my demands (both necessary and unnecessary) met and this made me recognize Doug as a hero because he had been through so much for his family and putting myself in his shoes, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to survive a minute of his rough patched journey. As a girlfriend and a soon to-be wife, I took it upon myself to support my man financially and saw to it that, my generosity extended to the rest of his family.

Every two weeks, I fully funded and sponsored a vacation to any destination of his choice. On our very first trip, we flew to Mauritius and had the best of times. I remember Doug breaking down into tears when we landed in Mauritius; he expressed his gratitude over a thousand times and assured me of his endless love and care, after all, that was basically what I needed from him. My parents, who were and are still based in New York, got word from home regarding my extravagant and unnecessary trips/spending and strongly warned me against that gold digger of a man…I just didn’t understand why they all seemed to be against my first love. I thought to myself, “They are just envious that the man who broke my virginity was willing and ready to walk me down the aisle and if any of them were in my shoes, they would understand how difficult it was to allow the man who popped your cherry slide without a fight; and to me this was more than a battle I was prepared to confront, this was war!” This style of relationship between myself and Douglass went on for four (4) years without any form of argument whatsoever till he saw the need to show me his butt.

He started behaving really strange towards me. Spent less and less time with me and I dared not complain because it would imply that I spent an entire week without seeing nor hearing from him. I was convinced that some evil forces were sucking the life out of my relationship but I was still unready/unwilling to give up. Two months later into the boredom, he asked me to marry him which I gladly accepted. I watched him with so much love in my heart and tears in my eyes as he placed the visibly cheap engagement ring on my well-manicured finger. It felt like the world had come to a stand- still; he topped it up with a passionate kiss and apologized for his behavior over the past few months.

Our marriage ceremony was about three months away when Douglass made a quick trip to his village to see his ailing grand-mother. He returned with good news with regards to her health and I couldn’t help but notice the joy in his eyes; he was indeed in high spirits!

Alas! The day and time finally came for me to bear the surname of the only man I have ever loved and been intimate with. My parents in spite of their skepticism, gave us their blessings but refused to fly down for the ceremony and at that point, I could care less. My sister took charge of the wedding cake and décor as an evidence of support which was indeed appreciated. In a convoy of the most expensive cars available, I was whisked away to the very beautiful church auditorium (name withheld) to commence the ceremony but to my disappointment, Doug and his selected grooms men were not present. We waited for an hour, called his phone lines and that of his best man but to no avail. We had some of the ushers rush to hotel he was supposed to be lodging, only to be told that he already checked out there (4) hours earlier. What was going on? Still seated at the altar and almost in tears, my sister walked slowly towards me with so much tears in her eyes, handed me my phone and said to me, “you should have listened, read the text message.” And then walked away.  The murmuring in the auditorium became very loud and the guests kept staring at me with a questioning look in their eyes. I unlocked my phone to read the message and it was from Doug, it read “really sorry Hun but I can’t do this. You deserve better than what I got to offer you. My heart doesn’t lie with you. Truth is I have never really been happy with you so I thought it wise to walk away. I’m really sorry but I can’t do this – Doug” I just couldn’t believe my eyes… I immediately put a call through to him only to hear a polite female voice on the other end saying, sorry but my husband is in the shower, I’ll make sure he returns your call immediately. Thank you.” it then dawned on me that Doug actually lied about his ailing grandmother and really left town to make another woman his wife. Everything suddenly went blank all I could remember was the loud voice of my sister screaming “go after her! Please stop her!”

After two years, I was told that I went almost completely insane and had to be checked into an asylum. I spent two (2) years in a home for the mentally challenged and didn’t even know! Falling in love with Douglas completely ruined me and I didn’t know what I did to deserve that inhuman treatment from him. I was faithful and very supportive of him but he only made a complete fool of the naïve virgin I was. I’m still getting over this ugly chapter of my life and this depression. In two days, I will be joining parents in New York to start all over again. I wonder if there is any hope for a thirty- one (31) year old woman to ever trust and love again after suffering this cruelty from a man.

By: Nana Yaa Asabea

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