A colleague of mine once said that, our generation is characterized by people who find pleasure in flings and things than staying committed to one person in a relationship, and she couldn’t have said better.
People value flings and can be in an undefined relationship for a long while without it eating up their conscience. Other group of people can lead two or more partners on and like a game, they would go on and spin the wheel till it lands on one person they would then consider as a partner; but what happens to the others? Some others can pretend to love or care for you for as long as you keep the sex coming in and when they get tired of you, you’re reminded of how “not good enough” you are or how something you did in the past is still eating them up and blah blah blah! Have we lost our values and great morals as a generation? How come it’s so easy to play with the emotions of humans than we play with dolls?
“I’m not ready for a relationship but we can be together” they say. So how do we now define the period of being together? Just hanging? Friends with benefit? Huh! That’s another thing we are very much obsessed with. We want the “company” but not the “commitment.” We really want to fit into the order of the new world that we don’t value the existence of others as human beings.
“I can have a girlfriend but that doesn’t mean I’m going to marry her,” “I can be with that guy but just to while away time,” have we suddenly grown cold and heartless that we take pride in seeing how others shed tears for us? Some people can have a “thing” with others for years without the intent of ever making it official. Has it got to do with our social status? Our association with the new people in our circle? Our jobs? What society demands of us? Or we’re just basically stupid? People are led on to build their lives around others with hopes of tying the knot one day and there comes the unexpected news of them being the “side piece” all along. I mean, why disrespect the emotions of others for your own selfish gains when you had every opportunity to let them off the hook from the beginning? That’s somebody’s future wife/husband you’re messing with.
I get it; the fear of being alone drives us to get involved with people we wouldn’t even hook up with in our right senses. We succumb to the invisible pressures of the society to turn dating into a hobby or to prove a point to people (who do not really care about us) that we are “living the life,” which still doesn’t give us the right to categorize people into “Options.” If you’re certain about one person, then stick with them through it all without preying on the emotions of other innocent people to waste their youthful years with deceit for your own personal gains.
Or perhaps we’ve lost our sense of spirituality to an extent that we do not recognize God anymore and disdain his creations (other humans). Well, if we still acknowledged the existence of the Supreme Being and lived our lives to please nobody but HIM, our value for life, people and relationships would improve.
Dating without the intent of marriage is just like driving with no destination. Choose a girlfriend/boyfriend because you see a future with them; they should be a potential spouse which would in turn demand that you treat them with utmost respect. Before you set the bed ablaze with romance, ensure that you define whatever it is between you and whoever is involved. Be sure that you see a wife or a husband figure who wouldn’t only look good physically but would feel good to you spiritually … now that’s key! Choosing to be with one person in a defined relationship with trust, love and respect doesn’t make you lame; that’s a whole new level of maturity and sexiness, embrace it!
So can we all quit with the “cool” crappy norms of today and date with meaning? Life is too short to play games. Grow up!
Credit: Nana Yaa Asabea